Kingdom

After church last sunday I tasked myself with trying to find aspects of the kingdom in my everyday life. Brian talked about having your kingdom glasses on, and how we see what we look for. For example if you need your car fixed, you'll start noticing all the repair shops around you where you wouldn't have noticed them before. So we will start out on Sunday.
Thanksgiving food drive. Its true that everyone gets more generous around the holidays but I guess better then than never right? You pick up a box and a list at church, go to the store buy the items, pack the box, and bring it back. Pretty simple. So this year my journey group got a box and we are all going to go shopping together, probably going to get kicked out of Kroger but hey..its for the Kingdom.

My roommate is a gem, seriously we are so compatible and I could not have asked for a better person to live with. I always joke that the best thing she could do for my would be to teach my future husband how to be as awesome to live with as she is. Her strength and compassion inspires me daily, even when I don't see her daily which happens too often. She makes the BEST chocolate chip cookies I've ever eaten, and if you know me you know I've eaten a lot of chocolate chip cookies. She normally leaves me a small dish of cookie dough in the fridge but this time she left me this, she spoils me and I am so very thankful.

I am trying to view myself more in God's image than my own. But that also comes with trying to combat the things that 1. I think about myself and 2. things other people say to me. I was sort of overwhelmed Tuesday by both of those things happening more than usual, and turned on Ocean by Hillsong. The waterworks began soon after as I realized just how vulnerable I was, and also that its good to cry, even if I hate doing it because I feel like "weak" is not something I want to be viewed as. Obviously most of that logic is messed up, I'm working on it. 

I think its super weird that I took a picture of myself crying but I needed to embrace the fact that it was needed. Maybe this could be a new version of a selfie?

Its amazing to me how beautiful new life is. I am often reminded when I'm babysitting just how much God loves us. At least to the best of my ability. It also reminds me of how sometimes, especially new Christians, expect too much of themselves and they are expected to do too much by others. If you think of your spiritual walk in terms of a child. When you accept Jesus, or maybe when you start to see what it would be like to make him Lord of  your life, we are like infants. We can't really do anything on our own and we need almost constant care in terms of our spiritual life. When we get a little farther along we get so frustrated if we mess up even one time, but don't focus on all the times where we did right in the eyes of God or just how much we are growing. Just like when a baby is learning to walk, we rejoice when they take just one step and then fall down. Then two or three. We never focus on the fact that they fell, but that they walked AND that they knew to get back up and keep trying. All that to say, I had a fantastic night watching Karis learn to roll over and just be flat out adorable.

Every year for the Journey Crossroads does some sort of amazing prayer experience. This year it was at City link center.  The day I was planning on going, the first thing that I was just flat out thankful for, was that despite the 20 degree weather, I have a nice winter jacket, hat and scarf to keep warm. I have been very fortunate and I try to not take it for granted. 

 As I entered into City Link for the first time I went to use the restroom before going on the hour long prayer experience, cause you know, a girls gotta pee. I overheard a group of 3 women probably in their 60's talking about how calming the choice of colors in the bathroom were. Now the picture below doesn't do it justice but that filter made the stone on the walls look the coolest :) It was just a light blue paint on the walls, with light grey stalls and this stone on the bottom. I wouldn't have noticed it had these women not be talking about how wonderfully peaceful their trip to the bathroom had been. Finding joy and pointing out something so small like that was the kingdom to me, and as a result I was able to accept the peace these women had been talking about while I peed.

 Now comes the big stuff. Crossroads always does a great job with their interactive experiences.  This one was mostly about praying for other people. But we had to write what the biggest thing in our life that we put on a pedestal before God. After I wrote this on a giant wall I walked into the next room which had triangles on the wall that you could pull off and read. As I was getting toward the wall I heard,

Grab the one on the bottom, because thats where you think you are.

So I did, and the triangle I pulled was,

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. -Psalm 18:19

This stopped me in my tracks and I began to cry (again, twice in one week whats wrong with me) I realized that I do not think that God delights in me, and that he is disappointed in me as I fail him every day. While logically I know this not to be true, its what I believe in my heart to be true.

I was also informed that I get the chance to go back to India at the beginning of next year for my senior capstone project. If you want to know more info about that click here. The people in my life are awesome, thanks for being apart of it. 

There are more days left in this week, to which I hope I'll post again because this was fun. I miss writing about my days. Add it to the list of things I want to do but never continue with.

Warrior

I want to start using this again, I absolutely loved documenting my days via pictures and just writing things out. Plus if anyone else wants to read about my life, I am literally an open book.

Spiritual life is on the FAST TRACk right now, which is the best thing that could have ever happened to me, the amount of amazing people I have in my life is insane, I cannot believe how blessed I am. I could spend days talking about that but I wanted to start using this to document a journey I am going to take myself on, and I am hoping that writing it down will keep me accountable to actually do it. I have this personality trait to want to be a warrior, and being a woman I always thought that was an incorrect feeling to have about myself. I related more to males than females, I wanted to fight and compete, not be rescued or dress up. I have received prophecy recently that this is EXACTLY what God created me to be and I could not be MORE pumped. I am working through the circle of having a revelation: I relate more to a warrior mentality, figuring out what God is telling you: it is in your plans to be a warrior for the oppressed and to fight for them, and Act: train, both body and spirit, to complete the task that God has called me to do. I don't know when I will get this opportunity but I know that it is in my future and I need to act and prepare. So I have decided to dedicate my mornings to body training, and evenings to spirit training. Not sure exactly how that looks yet, mainly the spirit training, I'm better at the body training. But I will figure it out =D

In terms of what I did today. I started it out with church, serving on the prayer team has me at the 8:30 and 10am services doing prayer afterwards at both. I absolutely could not be more thrilled, I am so honored to be able to pray for people! And all the people I am meeting is awesome as well, we were praying for our team after everyone had left and I could hear murmurs of speaking in tongues, and I joined in feeling super happy that spiritual gifts are welcome and sharpened there. I'll keep updating but I cannot wait to see where this leads me.

Alyssa left for Africa today, 3 whole months she will be there working for a zoo in South Africa! I am so pumped for her, this experience is going to be crazy awesome. Leaving her at the airport was sad but I sent her off with an Agnes action figure, a love letter, and a 12 week spritual growth challenge that I literally made up last night at 1am. And honestly I am pretty impressed at how the spirit worked through me writing it, weekly challenges followed by passages to read and everyone was easy to write. Holy. Spirit. Whatsup.

Dress up and drawing

Went over to hangout with Sierra and baby Ziggy after work. Such a fantastic decision! I love both of them so much, and I had such a great time playing dress up. Sierra did my makeup - quite dramatic which I never do so it was a cool change. And then she busted out the wigs! Please indulge.

At work I drew these little ladies just to see if I could draw. One of my biggest dreams is to work for Epipheo studios and I know my drawing skills need to improve immensely before that can happen. So I drew these girls, from my head! I didn't look at anything else, which for me is very impressive even if the drawings aren't.

As you can see the final product ended up looking quite different from the drawing but hey! I was still really proud of myself. I think she is pretty =)

Meats and fairies

My diet continues to go well! I have lost almost 11 pounds now, probably more. And that involves a lot of weighing food! And as much as it sucks I kind of like preparing food in advance, its so much easier to stay on track with a diet plan if you have everything ready to go! So whenever I tell myself I'm going to wake up early in the morning and I don't, everything is ready to go! Shrimp and buffalo have been my favorite meats so far =)

Went to Whole foods to get buffalo and the super nice butcher cut me up some stewing meet right there =) something about fresh meat that just makes me happy for such amazing service!

Its been really cold, like single digits cold. And I wear my coat and scarf like this all the time, I normally don't ever take it off, especially at the office when the heat is out!

These girls have my whole heart, seriously. I love babysitting them so much! they are so loving, and also have such horrible attitudes haha crazy how little girls can be. They had these on when i got there and told me all about their fairy wings and playing dress up. To be as innocent as that again, what we would all give.

My charger apparently melted to something...not sure what that is yet but I need to invest in a new charger before something catches on fire...but honestly I'll probably just keep using this one until it quits on me, because chargers are like $100 and I hate the new ones..

Bought some waters for the office, seriously water just tasted 10x better coming out of this bottle! AGH! its awesome. We may have went a bit overboard =D

Sound a little less dead

Well to start the day in more of this freezing cold weather I tried to enjoy some iced coffee, which I do no like very much at all. But I like everything better cold! So I braved through it and kept my gloves on in order to drink it. I got some of those starbucks instant coffee pack things, they still are just as bad as regular coffee =/ this diet with no creamer thing is killing me. not that I like coffee with creamer much anyways.

Worked today in Flash all day, I love learning new things and even thought coding isnt my strong suit I just feel so empowered when I figure something out, even if it is as small as making a bitmap a graphic. Such an awesome feeling. Today Isaac came into work. He lived with the Armstrongs when I first started working for them in 2011I didn't talked to him much other than in passing but said hi to him when AG was showing him around. He told me him and Daniel had been talking about me bcs Isaac needs a Business admin to do what I did for Daniel. Invoices, scanning, stuff like that. He said "Yea Daniel just couldn't stop praising you" and that just really made my day =) Its so nice to hear good things about yourself but especially from people who you really care about.
Which reminds me of when we were at the Castlemans the other night for dinner! And matt went around and said something he thought about everyone and he told me that during SFL in the summer I was the person who always asked the questions everyone was thinking. Which made me feel awesome bcs all summer I thought I was the stupid one who didn't know anything.. but he said that he always wanted to say when he was confused "I think mariah has a question" Idk but it made me feel good =)

Favorite quote of the day from Leslie about the VO I did on Monday when I was so weak from my diet I almost couldn't walk up the stairs. I tried my best so sound fun though!

Talked to Gina tonight about my diet, found out I can get off 3 days sooner than expected! So I am over halfway done! Just need to go get some more buffalo and I can make it. Around 10 pounds down! Had book club tonight, such a dense book but really has some great stuff in it. I really do love reading and wish I did it more, having two groups reading books during the week definitely helps though =D

I also got in a sweet ab workout before we discussed the book. Turns out Ryan is a great personal trainer. When I went to get in the shower when I got home though I was reminded of that awful feeling when your feet are super cold and they meet with hot water. AGH I should've worn thicker socks but its times like this I am so thankful for a warm house, shower and bed to come home to. I am so incredibly blessed.

21 hours

I have now been awake for 21 hours. And instead of going to bed I decided I would start keeping track of my days even if no one else finds it interesting or reads this.

This morning I braved the freezing cold at 3am to pick up Olivia and take her to the airport. She was going to see kory in Oklahoma for the first time! And she is moving there soon so that's sad :/

After going to the wrong airport I finally got her there in time for her flight. Whew. Then I went into work at 630. No traffic at that time luckily and wAtched the sun come up through our windows. After doing a demo reel and part of a flash presentation ( in AS2 I might add, who still uses that!) I got to leave at 3:30 to go meet Brenda!
I am going to be her bride for her pretend wedding photoshoot and I am so excited! We went to pick out the dress which is really unique. Not my taste per say but it is beautiful and it does fit! Which helps when borrowing a dress. Those things run so small!
After an hour And a half of searching for "the dress" I got to go home to my delicious buffalo stew I had made in the crock pot. Idk why but everything tastes better from a crockpot. I only used water,buffalo and garlic and it was one of the best things I've ever made.
As far as my "diet" goes I am losing weight slowly but surely ( ill admit I don't have too much to lose) but I'm excited to be able to eat dairy again :) I miss cheese. Soon! Already almost halfway done and now that I got some good meat recipes I think I'm golden.. As long as he cravings stop :/

God talk - I finished the book of Leviticus today. Wow the old testimate is something crazy but I understand why it is so important to read it. I think people forget how jealous our God is and how much harm he can do to us. I feel he needs to be respected at all times. Yes he is loving and that is why he is protective and jealous. I am so thankful that Jesus came and died for us. Like wow. All those rules are crazy but needed for the people at that time. I think we could use some of those today. Always trying to remember how insanely blessed I am. Kinda crazy my heart change over the past 9 months. Before I wanted to save all my money for myself and while I think saving is a smart thing to do with what God has given you. I think it should be invested in life change and I plan to do that.

India:
Raised 825$
Need 2575$

God is good

Garden

So I decided that my regular plants weren't providing me enough feedback in my daily life. Selfish, I know but in leu of getting a pet I decided to get plants that produce things!! Like food! So Mark and I ventured to Home Depot and started the search for the perfect window sil plant. After standing in the rain for twenty minutes debating on plant types, I picked out: a bundle of onions, strawberries, oregano and basil.

Picking out planting soil was another venture that I was not ready for but after coming to terms with my forgetfulness when it comes to watering plants, I got the soil that was "designed" for over and under watering. Essentially "mariah this is YOUR soil".

The planting begins!! I now have two gardens, one in each window sil. Herbs and Onions in one, Strawberries and Onions in the other!

So three weeks after purchasing my plants and such. I NOW HAVE BABY STRAWBERRIES!!!  Guys I am so excited, I can't even tell you.

So that is my garden update =) I will keep you posted on my new food growth.